Learning to take a GIANT chill pill

I’m going to be very honest for a second here. I am a recovering uptight momma. I like to over plan, over schedule, and over control every aspect of my family’s lives. And I’m pretty positive that I’ve been driving them CRAZY.

My need for control I think goes back to my need to make sure nothing goes wrong. If I don’t plan everything out to the T, and stay on top of everyone to make sure it gets done, then the whole train will de-rail and we will surely spiral into pandemonium. Something about the idea of things not going perfectly planned has sent me into a giant tizzy and I whip everyone around me into my hurricane of crazy emotions.

Now, I’m not saying to sit back and let the crazy overtake you either, but what I am saying is that I’ve learned that our life needs some serious balance. Let’s take for instance, my children’s clothing. On most days, I lay out my kids’ clothes for them, make sure they are ironed, pair matching socks, shoes, bows, hats, etc. I leave nothing to go wrong the next morning when we’re getting ready. But here’s the thing, I would even do this when I knew we weren’t going anywhere of importance the next day. I still needed to micromanage every aspect of my children’s outfits because God forbid they didn’t look put together. Now, for my oldest, Karsen, this is totally fine. He likes matching and looking put together. He doesn’t mind me picking out his clothes one bit. However, for my little free spirit of a 2 year old, I realized this was completely stifling her creativity and desire to express herself. She needs an outlet to have fun and be herself and sometimes she wants this to happen through her outfit choices. So, these last few weeks, I have uttered words from my mouth that I never thought I would hear. “You can choose what you wear today.” Like, what?! Where did that come from? But guess what? Her face LIGHTS UP when I say it! It’s like I just gave her the coolest present ever. And I love to see that face.

I’ve used this new attitude in other areas also. Letting Karsen make his own sandwiches, letting the kids put away their toys without me standing over them making sure nothing gets put in the wrong bin, letting them walk through a store instead of having to be contained in a cart. I’m REALLY trying to let the reigns loose a little. Key word here is trying. Ain’t no way that girl is going to church or school in an outfit I didn’t approve, but we’re making progress.

So, I guess my point here is to encourage those who are like me, control freaks, to know that the world will not come off its axis if you don’t overly plan every aspect of your family’s lives. It’s ok to have a plan, it’s ok to like things in order, but it’s also ok to let everyone breathe and relax a little too. It’s good for them AND you.

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