There are many people that have been very influential in the course of our adoption process thus far. None however, as influential as our Social Worker. For the sake of protecting her privacy, I will refer to her as D. D is one of the sweetest humans I’ve ever met, but this is not the reason that I love her so much. I love her because she is so unbelievably real, even when it hurts.
As we have just recently completed our one year home study update, we were able to meet with D and discuss our upcoming homecoming for Maverick. While it would seem that this would be a discussion all about love and happy times and sunshine and rainbows, it actually is a very difficult discussion to have. Because it’s a discussion about the worst day in my child’s life so far.
When we very first met our social worker, she said something to me that absolutely rocked my world. She instructed us to think of ourselves as legal kidnappers. We are going into our child’s home, taking him away from the only parents he’s ever known, bringing him to a different country where people look different, talk different, eat different, and we say “hey this is your new home, you should be so happy and grateful!” But here’s the thing, he shouldn’t HAVE TO be anything! He should be allowed to act or feel any way he needs to, because his period of coming home to us will be a time filled with grief.
Maverick’s foster parents have been a crucial part of his world for a year and a half now. They ARE his parents right now. Even though we all know that this is a temporary placement, he can’t possibly understand that concept at his young age. To him, he is home. And to him, we are strangers who are pulling him away from that home. As much as this concept is so painful to think about, it’s so important that adoptive parents GET that concept before bringing their child home. We need to mentally and emotionally and spiritually prepare to be rejected, cried on, screamed at, etc. It may not all happen, but it might. And that has to be okay. And we have to be okay. We won’t be. But with God’s help, we can get there.
Eventually, we will come out of the grieving period. We will prove ourselves trustworthy over time. We will show our little boy that we are good, we will provide for him, that we love him more than words can express. But, in the beginning, when we’re experiencing these growing pains, we covet the prayers of our friends. I will appreciate every text and phone call of encouragement. Every random coffee delivery and friendly face. Because it’ll be a time of adjustment and transition for us all. But gosh am I ready. I want that day to come more than I ever have. Let’s get this baby boy home!!! 💙💙💙