Shame, shame, shame…

Alright, so I want to talk about something that has kind of become a “hot button” issue in the Mom World. And as soon as you read the phrase, you will most likely have to fight off every inclination you have not to close the page and never look back. BUT, I urge you to stay with me, because I have what I think to be a new perspective on this issue that could change everything we know about momming. Here it is, that big, ugly topic: MOM SHAMING!!!

If you don’t know what this is, it has basically become the coined phrase in today’s society to describe moms who judge and look down on other moms because of differing opinions and ways of doing things. It includes big topics like breast versus bottle, organic and healthy versus feeding your kids via drive thru, private school versus public school, etc. It’s a topic that gets a lot of people (especially women) in a huge tizzy and it just basically is not cool. Here’s the thing about mom shaming: yes, it is a huge issue facing our society right now. Moms are made to feel bad about themselves for any and every decision they make because there will always be someone making a different (and in their eyes better) decision than them. But, I personally do not feel like mom shaming is the REAL issue here. If we delve deeper into this phenomenon, I think what the actual problem is is this: we, as moms, are actually shaming ourselves. We have grown so accustomed to over-criticizing every move we make that we are then projecting that mentality onto other women as well. We feel guilty and live with a constant feeling that we are not good enough. That we are not worthy to be “Momma” to our babies. And you know what? The enemy LOVES for us to live in that place. He loves to plant seeds of doubt and lack of self worth in our minds which then continue to grow and take over every thought we have. And now? He’s got help. Because now, with the touch of a button, we are instantly inundated by photos, posts, pins, and tweets SCREAMING at us how much we are lacking. We think to ourselves “I don’t look like that mom, I don’t make home cooked meals every night like she does, I don’t do fun crafts like her….” and we measure our momhood with this disproportionate measuring stick that makes us feel so beat down and belittled to the point where we begin to question every move we make. We, as mommas, are hurting. We do it to ourselves, but we are hurting so bad. And, as the saying goes, “hurt people hurt people”. We begin to take all that mom guilt, all that shame, all those insecurities, and instead of bringing them to the altar and giving them to the One who could wipe away all that pain and sorrow, we begin projecting it all onto those around us. We think that by judging someone else, we somehow are going to make ourselves feel better in the process. Y’all, at its core, Mom Shaming is a heart issue. If we, as women, would go to the Father, if we would read our Word, if we would pray, we could begin to see ourselves as He sees us. He sees us as enough, He sees us as beautiful, He sees us as being exactly the mom our children need. As exactly the wife our husbands need. As exactly the person that He created in His image. And God? He doesn’t make mistakes. So the next time you hop on Pinterest and start sinking into deep, dark mom depression, instead, pull out His measuring stick, and rest assured that no matter what kind of mom you are, you are more than enough and you are amazing just the way you are.

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